Using A Special Gift To Your Advantage
“If you are in a job that is sucking the life out of you, you need to find a way to get out of that.” – Patrick Dougher
Many of us have had jobs where we had to force ourselves to go through the door, and once there the clock just seemed to stop. You repeated this sentiment again each day, and kept thinking, “Now, I’ve got to do that again?”
Other times you are so “jazzed” that you can’t wait to get to work, and you seem to be recharging yourself as the day progresses because you are really into what you are doing – and the time flies by. You want to repeat this feeling over and over again.
Although you may not realize it, when you are in “the groove” you are actually taking advantage of your natural “gifts.” You have found something you are good at, and enjoy doing, and are allowing yourself to experience the elation that comes with finding your “niche,” or natural-born talent.
We all know someone who does not know how to take a compliment. When we tell them they look good they always have a negative comment to counter, like “This old thing?” or “Nah, not me.” For some reason they play the “unworthy” card, and they don’t need to.
We all have a “gifting” or spiritual gift, presented to us that can be plugged into – allowing us to fulfill our purpose, destiny, passion, or whatever you want to call it. Once you tap into that gift “It will be like you jumped into the river at high stream and you’re going downstream fast because it will open doors for you.” You will find your purpose, and your life, and it will exhilarating!
Somewhere each of us has a place, literally, that will take us to our destiny, passion and purpose. Until you apply that gift to your life you will not be happy.
Here is a short quiz that will help aim you in the direction of your particular gift.
In your life (not the life you want, but the life you are currently leading) do you tend to work with your hands or speak with your mouth? At a party, are you the one who is having fun (speaker), or the one who is reserved in the background (handy)?
For “Handy” People Only
A. Do you respond to people’s practical needs, or how they feel?
If you respond to the way they feel – jot down the # 1 and you are done.
If you respond to the practice needs, continue…
B. Would you find that you would give somebody money, or do something for them?
If you would give them money, jot down the #4
If you would do something, jot down #3
For “Talkers” Only
A. In forming an opinion about something, do you tend to “fly by the seat of your pants” (gut feelings or preconceived ideas) or do you research the subject until you feel confident?
If the answer is research – put down #2
If the answer is gut feeling, proceed…
B. In giving advice, would you give practical steps with action, or would you quote something (scripture, website, encyclopedia, etc.)?
If the answer is quote – put down the # 5
If the answer is practical steps, continue
C. Do you find that you adapt easily to any situation, or get frustrated with red tape and delays?
If the answer is adapt easily – put down #6
If you are already frustrated with this exercise – jot down #7
Now that you have a number, how do you find your gift?
Here are what the numbers you have found actually mean, and how you can use your personality to your advantage, in selling and in life.
#1 – Mercy.
Mercies are the feelers, the empaths; they take in their surroundings and understand how those around them are feeling. They are the ones with insight into your feelings. They see, and feel what you feel, and literally absorb the feelings of those around them – and this burden could cause them to collapse under the weight.
A Mercy will attract people who want to let go and release their feeling. Even perfect strangers will feel drawn to a Mercy, and will unburden themselves. A Mercy has the ability to “reach into their chest, pull their heart out and rub it, absorb the pain that they’re feeling, set it back into that person and they feel strangely comforted.” You’ll know a Mercy, and be drawn to them.
When selling to a Mercy – use words that will draw at their heartstrings. Do NOT attack, that will only force them to withdraw. (Examples: “This really gets to the “heart” of the issue.” “Wouldn’t you feel guilty if this worked and you didn’t use it?” “Can’t you feel the difference you can make?”) If you learn how to speak to them you will be amazed at what you can draw from them.
#2 – Teaching.
Teachers translate well. They can take an image or concept in their mind, and make it easy for you to understand. They love to learn – through audio, video, books or whatever, and want to share what they have learned.
Teachers are always trying to find ways to convey what they have learned, and sometimes – say with a Mercy person, who likes to get to the feeling of things, they don’t want to know everything.
#3 – Service.
The Servers are the behind the scene workers. “If you have a party, invite these guys. They will do the dishes.” They ‘do in action what the Mercy does in spirit. They see a need, and fill it. The problem with a Server – they have a problem saying “no.” They want to please everyone, so they won’t set boundaries, and this lends them to being used a lot. Even more important than saying no, is to learn how to say “Yes” the correct way (Example: “I can get to that next Tuesday, will that work for you?”). You didn’t say “no” but you set expectations, which means you would be willing to do the project, but in YOUR time. If you don’t make what’s important to YOU a priority, you will build up resentments to those who you feel are taking advantage of you, and you will burn out. It also teaches others that you are willing to help, but will not allow yourself to become a doormat. They will respect you more for it.
How could you create a relationship with a Server? Work WITH them. It’s that simple. If you are working as a partner, they will be more receptive to you. In addition, if more people attacked problems with a “get ‘er done’ attitude, more would actually get done.
#4 – Giving.
Givers don’t necessarily give from their own pockets, but they have the ability to garner from others to support the cause. They are the fundraisers in the group. Once they are focused on something they have the ability to get things done. They give of their time to make things happen.
Givers make good business owners. If you can find out what a giver is interested in, and find ways to contribute to that, you will attract a Giver.
#5 – Professing.
Professors are those who tell it like it is – whether you want to hear it or not. They take “Thor’s hammer of Truth” and use it “in the name of LOVE.” They are the ones who find the loose thread, and like to keep pulling until the sweater is only yarn.
People tend to stray away from Professors. If this is your primary gift, you have to learn to channel it so as not to hurt. Being truthful can be a double-edge sword. The ability to tell a person honestly that the dress they are wearing is not flattering to them may be for their own good, but if you put it too bluntly it will hurt more than it will help. A Professor needs to know that their gift is special, but there are times when tact is in order, and people don’t always have to know the “whole truth.”
#6 – Exhortation.
The Exhortations are the cheerleaders. Their upbeat personalities tend to bring energy to their surroundings that weren’t there before they appeared. They are the networkers, the ones who can work a room and get those around them excited. They are the motivational speakers.
Some would explain an Exhortation as “A Mercy that has been through Hell and come out the other side.” Exhortations have learned how to take the pains they experienced growing up and turn it to their advantage – and they want to teach you how to do that too. They have the ability to make you believe in them, and in yourself, and your ability to do anything you put your mind to. Dr. Wayne Dyer is a good example of an Exhortation.
How do you approach an Exhortation? Have some fun, rev yourself up, and put more energy in your conversation. Don’t go in with “victim” written all over your face. You are a survivor, and you can make this sale. Have the “I can do this” attitude, and mean it!
#7 – Administration.
Administrators are not the quarterbacks of the team, they carry the ball. They’re the one the quarterback hands the ball to and has confidence they will complete the play and go for the goal. They are wired to make things happen.
A drawback of the Administrator type – they tend to do things themselves instead of delegating work. They get too involved, and think no one can do the job as well as they can. Administrators tend to have large egos, be perfectionists, and are somewhat of a control freak. Once they understand that they will burn out if they continue the pace they have set for themselves, the smoother things around them operate.
How would these types of gifts manifest themselves in real life?
Let’s take a scenario: We are at a fancy restaurant with your extended family, including children. One of the kids spills his milk. Here is the reaction you could see from each personality type:
Mercy: “It’s alright, we all spill drinks from time to time (and may give a hug).”
Teaching: “Next time place your glass away from the end of the table.”
Service: “I’ll get that cleaned up.”
Giving: “Waiter, can we have another glass of milk.”
Professing: “If you take that napkin you can clean up the milk before it gets on the floor.”
Exhortation: “If it makes you fell better I can spill my milk too.”
Administration: “You all just step back and I’ll take care of it.”
How can a Boss use these gifts to their advantage?
Working with people is an art. The more you know about how they are wired the better you can utilize their specific talents to get the job done. In order to find out what types of people you are dealing with, you need to first observe them. Watch how they react to certain questions and stimuli. How do they interact with each other, and with customers?
A successful boss is one who is able to make the best use of his staff, and utilize their specific and special talents to his/her advantage. For example: You wouldn’t want to put a Mercy personality in the position of collections, and a Professor would not do their best in areas of Human Resources or Diplomacy. By taking the correct personality type and fitting them into the niche that is best for them you will create an environment that will allow all your employees to shine in their own areas. If your employees are happy they will work better, and your business will prosper. It’s that simple.
How can finding your special gift affect your personal life?
When you eliminate the baggage, and get rid of the negativity and begin believing in yourself your special ability to contribute, you will have turned your life around.
Once you believe you are unique, and valuable, and ignore years of negativity thrown at you by others who have their own baggage, and are often motivated by things that probably don’t even relate to you, then you will find your happiness. Carry this newfound enlightenment into all areas of your life and you will be amazed at how fulfilled you will be, and how successful.
This article was taken from transcripts of a presentation Patrick Dougher make at Business Blitz in early February 2010.
Patrick Dougher is a sought after keynote speaker across the country for workshops, conferences and coaching on varies motivational topics, including: “The 19 Easy Ways to Market Your Business Without Money,” “How to Double Your Reading Rate and Learn Twice as much in HALF the Time!” “Building Effective Teams at Work.” In addition to the radio talk show he also has a TV show “Learning From Leaders” on Channel 34, and the DVD Workshop on “Accelerated Learning.”