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Once you believe you are unique, and valuable, and ignore years of negativity thrown at you by others who have their own baggage, and are often motivated by things that probably don’t even relate to you, then you will find your happiness.
Using A Special Gift To Your Advantage
“If you are in a job that is sucking the life out of you, you need to find a way to get out of that.” – Patrick Dougher
Many of us have had jobs where we had to force ourselves to go through the door, and once there the clock just seemed to stop. You repeated this sentiment again each day, and kept thinking, “Now, I’ve got to do that again?”
Other times you are so “jazzed” that you can’t wait to get to work, and you seem to be recharging yourself as the day progresses because you are really into what you are doing – and the time flies by. You want to repeat this feeling over and over again.
Although you may not realize it, when you are in “the groove” you are actually taking advantage of your natural “gifts.” You have found something you are good at, and enjoy doing, and are allowing yourself to experience the elation that comes with finding your “niche,” or natural-born talent.
We all know someone who does not know how to take a compliment. When we tell them they look good they always have a negative comment to counter, like “This old thing?” or “Nah, not me.” For some reason they play the “unworthy” card, and they don’t need to.
We all have a “gifting” or spiritual gift, presented to us that can be plugged into – allowing us to fulfill our purpose, destiny, passion, or whatever you want to call it. Once you tap into that gift “It will be like you jumped into the river at high stream and you’re going downstream fast because it will open doors for you.” You will find your purpose, and your life, and it will exhilarating!
Somewhere each of us has a place, literally, that will take us to our destiny, passion and purpose. Until you apply that gift to your life you will not be happy.
Here is a short quiz that will help aim you in the direction of your particular gift.
In your life (not the life you want, but the life you are currently leading) do you tend to work with your hands or speak with your mouth? At a party, are you the one who is having fun (speaker), or the one who is reserved in the background (handy)?
For “Handy” People Only
A. Do you respond to people’s practical needs, or how they feel?
If you respond to the way they feel – jot down the # 1 and you are done.
If you respond to the practice needs, continue…
B. Would you find that you would give somebody money, or do something for them?
If you would give them money, jot down the #4
If you would do something, jot down #3
For “Talkers” Only
A. In forming an opinion about something, do you tend to “fly by the seat of your pants” (gut feelings or preconceived ideas) or do you research the subject until you feel confident?
If the answer is research – put down #2
If the answer is gut feeling, proceed…
B. In giving advice, would you give practical steps with action, or would you quote something (scripture, website, encyclopedia, etc.)?
If the answer is quote – put down the # 5
If the answer is practical steps, continue
C. Do you find that you adapt easily to any situation, or get frustrated with red tape and delays?
If the answer is adapt easily – put down #6
If you are already frustrated with this exercise – jot down #7
Now that you have a number, how do you find your gift?
Here are what the numbers you have found actually mean, and how you can use your personality to your advantage, in selling and in life.
#1 – Mercy.
Mercies are the feelers, the empaths; they take in their surroundings and understand how those around them are feeling. They are the ones with insight into your feelings. They see, and feel what you feel, and literally absorb the feelings of those around them – and this burden could cause them to collapse under the weight.
A Mercy will attract people who want to let go and release their feeling. Even perfect strangers will feel drawn to a Mercy, and will unburden themselves. A Mercy has the ability to “reach into their chest, pull their heart out and rub it, absorb the pain that they’re feeling, set it back into that person and they feel strangely comforted.” You’ll know a Mercy, and be drawn to them.
When selling to a Mercy – use words that will draw at their heartstrings. Do NOT attack, that will only force them to withdraw. (Examples: “This really gets to the “heart” of the issue.” “Wouldn’t you feel guilty if this worked and you didn’t use it?” “Can’t you feel the difference you can make?”) If you learn how to speak to them you will be amazed at what you can draw from them.
#2 – Teaching.
Teachers translate well. They can take an image or concept in their mind, and make it easy for you to understand. They love to learn – through audio, video, books or whatever, and want to share what they have learned.
Teachers are always trying to find ways to convey what they have learned, and sometimes – say with a Mercy person, who likes to get to the feeling of things, they don’t want to know everything.
#3 – Service.
The Servers are the behind the scene workers. “If you have a party, invite these guys. They will do the dishes.” They ‘do in action what the Mercy does in spirit. They see a need, and fill it. The problem with a Server – they have a problem saying “no.” They want to please everyone, so they won’t set boundaries, and this lends them to being used a lot. Even more important than saying no, is to learn how to say “Yes” the correct way (Example: “I can get to that next Tuesday, will that work for you?”). You didn’t say “no” but you set expectations, which means you would be willing to do the project, but in YOUR time. If you don’t make what’s important to YOU a priority, you will build up resentments to those who you feel are taking advantage of you, and you will burn out. It also teaches others that you are willing to help, but will not allow yourself to become a doormat. They will respect you more for it.
How could you create a relationship with a Server? Work WITH them. It’s that simple. If you are working as a partner, they will be more receptive to you. In addition, if more people attacked problems with a “get ‘er done’ attitude, more would actually get done.
#4 – Giving.
Givers don’t necessarily give from their own pockets, but they have the ability to garner from others to support the cause. They are the fundraisers in the group. Once they are focused on something they have the ability to get things done. They give of their time to make things happen.
Givers make good business owners. If you can find out what a giver is interested in, and find ways to contribute to that, you will attract a Giver.
#5 – Professing.
Professors are those who tell it like it is – whether you want to hear it or not. They take “Thor’s hammer of Truth” and use it “in the name of LOVE.” They are the ones who find the loose thread, and like to keep pulling until the sweater is only yarn.
People tend to stray away from Professors. If this is your primary gift, you have to learn to channel it so as not to hurt. Being truthful can be a double-edge sword. The ability to tell a person honestly that the dress they are wearing is not flattering to them may be for their own good, but if you put it too bluntly it will hurt more than it will help. A Professor needs to know that their gift is special, but there are times when tact is in order, and people don’t always have to know the “whole truth.”
#6 – Exhortation.
The Exhortations are the cheerleaders. Their upbeat personalities tend to bring energy to their surroundings that weren’t there before they appeared. They are the networkers, the ones who can work a room and get those around them excited. They are the motivational speakers.
Some would explain an Exhortation as “A Mercy that has been through Hell and come out the other side.” Exhortations have learned how to take the pains they experienced growing up and turn it to their advantage – and they want to teach you how to do that too. They have the ability to make you believe in them, and in yourself, and your ability to do anything you put your mind to. Dr. Wayne Dyer is a good example of an Exhortation.
How do you approach an Exhortation? Have some fun, rev yourself up, and put more energy in your conversation. Don’t go in with “victim” written all over your face. You are a survivor, and you can make this sale. Have the “I can do this” attitude, and mean it!
#7 – Administration.
Administrators are not the quarterbacks of the team, they carry the ball. They’re the one the quarterback hands the ball to and has confidence they will complete the play and go for the goal. They are wired to make things happen.
A drawback of the Administrator type – they tend to do things themselves instead of delegating work. They get too involved, and think no one can do the job as well as they can. Administrators tend to have large egos, be perfectionists, and are somewhat of a control freak. Once they understand that they will burn out if they continue the pace they have set for themselves, the smoother things around them operate.
How would these types of gifts manifest themselves in real life?
Let’s take a scenario: We are at a fancy restaurant with your extended family, including children. One of the kids spills his milk. Here is the reaction you could see from each personality type:
Mercy: “It’s alright, we all spill drinks from time to time (and may give a hug).”
Teaching: “Next time place your glass away from the end of the table.”
Service: “I’ll get that cleaned up.”
Giving: “Waiter, can we have another glass of milk.”
Professing: “If you take that napkin you can clean up the milk before it gets on the floor.”
Exhortation: “If it makes you fell better I can spill my milk too.”
Administration: “You all just step back and I’ll take care of it.”
How can a Boss use these gifts to their advantage?
Working with people is an art. The more you know about how they are wired the better you can utilize their specific talents to get the job done. In order to find out what types of people you are dealing with, you need to first observe them. Watch how they react to certain questions and stimuli. How do they interact with each other, and with customers?
A successful boss is one who is able to make the best use of his staff, and utilize their specific and special talents to his/her advantage. For example: You wouldn’t want to put a Mercy personality in the position of collections, and a Professor would not do their best in areas of Human Resources or Diplomacy. By taking the correct personality type and fitting them into the niche that is best for them you will create an environment that will allow all your employees to shine in their own areas. If your employees are happy they will work better, and your business will prosper. It’s that simple.
How can finding your special gift affect your personal life?
When you eliminate the baggage, and get rid of the negativity and begin believing in yourself your special ability to contribute, you will have turned your life around.
Once you believe you are unique, and valuable, and ignore years of negativity thrown at you by others who have their own baggage, and are often motivated by things that probably don’t even relate to you, then you will find your happiness. Carry this newfound enlightenment into all areas of your life and you will be amazed at how fulfilled you will be, and how successful.
This article was taken from transcripts of a presentation Patrick Dougher make at Business Blitz in early February 2010.
Patrick Dougher is a sought after keynote speaker across the country for workshops, conferences and coaching on varies motivational topics, including: “The 19 Easy Ways to Market Your Business Without Money,” “How to Double Your Reading Rate and Learn Twice as much in HALF the Time!” “Building Effective Teams at Work.” In addition to the radio talk show he also has a TV show “Learning From Leaders” on Channel 34, and the DVD Workshop on “Accelerated Learning.”
This is a video that was submitted in a contest by a 20-year old. The contest was titled “u @ 50” by AARP. This video won second place. When they showed it, everyone in the room was awe-struck and broke into spontaneous applause.
I gave this presentation the other day at Business Blitz. This is the transcript of the audio. I thought you might enjoy reading this.
Above is a video presentation similar to the transcript of an audio presentation I did on the same topic at a local speaking event. At the end of the post there are the downloadable forms I reference in both presentations. Enjoy.
Patrick: Hi, my name is Pat Dougher. I think I know most of you, but if I don’t know you, I hope to get to know you soon. My attraction here is Jennifer and I have known each other for several years now and we’ve always been real big on taking each other’s strengths and lifting them up. She’s a guru in everything internet. And so, when we did my TV show with her, it was all about making her exactly who she is.
For those of you that have used Compliments or that have used Jennifer’s service in the web, you know that she is more than incredible. Anybody else back me up on that one? Participant: Yeah. Patrick: Yeah. So, we actually met a few years back as I was out presenting. Usually, I love to present what we’re going to talk about today because I usually teach on marketing. But, one of the things that I think is really important is that if you are in a job that is sucking all of the life out of you, you need to find a way to get out of that.
In fact, how many of you have ever been in that job where you go in by 8:00 and by 8:06, you’ve become this ooze and you kind of swivel through the rest of the day, you go home and you get regenerated and you go, “Now, I’ve got to go do that again?” And we all go, “Not. I wish there was some way around that.” Right?
But then, there are other times in your life when you have really been so jazzed by what is going on that you just can’t get enough of it. There are things that you have been a part of; maybe meetings, maybe activities in your work – whatever it might have been.
But, there are areas where you go, “This is an amazing experience and how can I do this over and over again?” Would that be about right?
Well usually, when we’re in that area that you just can’t get enough of it, you’re actually standing in a gifting of yourself within you and a lot of people don’t recognize this because they just don’t see that they’re really talented. A lot of us don’t let ourselves off the hook for actually being good at anything.
How many of you all have known somebody that in their life, if you told them they look great, they would say, “Nah, not me. This old thing? Hey, I got it on sale.” Right?
And yet, the reality is that probably that person paid full ticket for it and it was a really nice item in their wardrobe, but they’re just playing this unworthiness card for some reason and they don’t need to.
And so, when we talk about these, we’re going to talk about our giftings. I’ll call it a spiritual gift. You call it whatever you want. I just call it a God given thing. It was placed in you earlier in life, probably at birth, but you may not never have actually – what I call “jacked into that.” Really plugged into it.
Because I’ll tell you, when you do really dive into your giftedness, it will be like you jump in the river at high stream and you’re going downstream fast because it will open doors for you.
I believe that your gift makes a place for you and a lot of people don’t even really understand what that means. It means that there’s a place, literally, prepared out here for you to walk in that really has destiny, and passion and purpose attached to it.
But, until you apply that gift in your life, that gift can’t hear that preparedness place is not going to show up in your life.
So, what I’ve got is I’ve got a really short test and you probably think, “Nah. That couldn’t be that accurate.” Aha! I’ve taught this to thousands – literally, about 6,000 people and I’ve seen it the most accurate test.
And usually, the people that have problems with it, I’ll show you why they have problems with it because of a certain gifting in them. Let’s hand it out and while that it’s going to come to you is it’s like a quiz; seven question quiz.
Keep it on the test side. I’ll direct you to turn it over at the appropriate time, so just keep it on the side that says – it looks like a diagram. It looks like that. Just look at that side and don’t look at the other. It’s not needed yet. And all I want to do is let me walk you through this little process.
Now, in your life – and this is just naturally speaking, your natural tendency, not the way that you want to be in your life, the one that you look back at your life, this is what you see. Do you tend to work with your hands or speak with your mouth?
Think if you go to a party, are you the one that’s having fun or are you the one that’s a little bit more reserved?
Now, how many of you guys are talkers? Just naturally, you would be the one to raise your hand and say, “I’ve got something to say.” Okay. You guys hush for a second and we’re going to work with the handy folks. Patrick: Yeah, I set you up. It’s good. It’s all good. So, you go over to the handy folks. It’s really funny. I made a brain burp one time and said, “How many of you all speak with your hands?” And this sign language lady raised her hands…
Okay. So, for those of you that work with your hands, in your life, do you find that you respond to people’s practical needs or how people feel?
Now, – the talkers, you guys just pay attention, but don’t participate on this one. I’ll be to you in a minute. The handy folks, do you tend to respond to people’s needs or how they feel? If it’s how they feel, I want respond to the way people feel you just put your initials in number one and you’re done.
If it’s people’s practical needs, then you want to continue on down to ‘would you find that you would give somebody money or do something for them.’ If it’s do something, you’re number three. If it’s give something, you’re number four.
Now, all of those folks that are handy folks, you have your initials somewhere on the page of the three that we’ve looked at and you’re done.
Now, let’s go to the talkers. For you talkers out there, in forming an opinion about something, do you tend to fly by the seat of your pants – well, go by what you feel or believe already or do you research it until you’re confident.
If it’s research it, then you’re going to put your initials in number two. If it’s kind of go by what your gut feel and you’re still with me, you’re going to go down to ‘in giving advice’ would you give practical steps with action or would you quote something? And I said scripture, but it really is quote a website, quote an encyclopedia, quote something as an absolute basis for action.
If you’re a quoter, you’re in number five and if you’re still with me, then you just want to look at ‘do you find that you adapt easily to any situation or get frustrated with red tape and delays.’ If it’s adapter, you’re in number six. If you’re already frustrated with what I’m doing, number seven.
Now, do the talkers have their initials somewhere on the page? Just one place, by the way. Does anybody have their initials in more than one place? Make a decision. Pretty much, pick one. You’re only supposed to have your initials in one spot.
I want you to turn your paper over. If your initials are in number one, I want you to read the first one which is Mercy. Two, Teaching. Three, Service, Four, Giving. Five, Professing. Six, Exhortation. Seven, Administration.
Now, you’re just reading that one spot and on that one spot, what I want you to do is just check the ones of that really apply and if five out of the six, four out of the five, whatever. If most of them are pretty consistent with you, I want you to stand. And we’re talking about just the one that you put your initials in. If you were number two, then you’re just reading Teaching. If you’re number six, you’re just Exhortation. Patrick: Isn’t that amazing? Patrick: Which one did you initial? It looks like you initialed number three which is service. Do you find that those tend to manifest in your life? Participant: Yeah. Patrick: Okay. Thanks. Everybody sit down. For one, isn’t that amazing that it’s that accurate? Participant: Scary. Patrick: Because you’re sitting there going, “Come on, Pat. It’s only seven questions. I’ve taken a 146 question test. They give you this whole diagram and this web thing.” I’m like, “So, what?” Do you want results or a lot of paper? What do you want when you go to analyze somebody’s interests? The end result is you want to show them where they’re weak, give them the solution, have them step into coverage. Would that be about right?
How do each of these really apply? Let’s look at each of them. How many of you all were in number one, Mercies? Very good. Any other Mercies in the room?
Mercies are the feelers in your group. They’re the people that they can walk into a party and they will feel what’s going in the world and they’re literally like a sea amenity. It’s like they’ve got these tentacles that come out and feel what’s going on.
And they’ll always know if you’re in pain and they’ll ask you these questions like, “Well, how’s your relationship with your brother?” And you’re sitting there going, “How’d you know?” And you’re kind of blown away that they had that kind of insight.
They also tend to have people that will sit next to them at the bus stop or some public setting and dump their life on them. It doesn’t make a lot of sense. They don’t really ask for that.
But, it’s this ability they have to walk up to almost anybody, reach into their chest, pull their heart out and rub it, absorb the pain that they’re feeling, set it back into that person and they feel strangely comforted.
Now, the Mercy a lot of times, feels the pain. They absorb it. It’s not a fun experience for you to walk up, if you’re in pain, to a Mercy because they feel what you’re feeling. Is that about right? You really get it and it’s not that great.
In fact, the best illustration – how many of you all have ever watched The Green Mile? That’s an excellent illustration of a Mercy. They literally will suck into their life the pain of another. Now, what happened to that guy if he didn’t let it out? Participant: He got sick. Patrick: He got sick, right? Same thing with Mercies. If they don’t learn a way to release the pain, they’ll literally collapse under the weight.
And all of us know Mercies. One of the things about what I’m doing is when I’m talking about something that’s not you, don’t tune me out. Look for people in your life that walk in that gift because you’ll know them. They’re the ones you want to share your life with real easily. They’re the ones that just have a way of being a comfort. They don’t always have the best words for you, but when they hug you, you feel better.
But, they’re also a certain kind of prospect, aren’t they? When we’re selling, if we can learn how to speak a Mercy’s language, we can sell to a Mercy more effectively.
Now, how many of you all could guess what are some of the key terms that you will use in talking to a Mercy? Participant: How do you feel about this? Patrick: Didn’t that just hurt yesterday? Wouldn’t it really be a tremendous pain if you didn’t go ahead with this? Can’t you feel the difference that we can bring to the table? We’re going right on top of their heart, right?
Now, don’t be too hard on them. Remember, They’re like a sea amenity. If you assault them, they’re going to retreat. But, if you meet them, you’re going to be loved and Mercies make some of the best fans. When you like somebody,(speaking to the Mercy in the room) you really like them. You keep them in the back of your mind. You’ll tell people about whatever amazing thing they did for you; great fans. So, learn how to speak that language.
Now, when we go to the Teachers – how many Teachers do I have in the room? One. Who else? Okay. Now, are you functional Teacher or are you a gifted Teacher? Participant: Teacher of health and well-being. Patrick: What I’m asking is did you come out on the test a Teacher? Participant: no Patrick: Both? That side that you got right in front of you and look. Do you tend to be a talker or a doer? Yes, no? Participant: Doer. Patrick: You’re a doer, not a talker. In other words, do you tend to just jump in? So, would she be naturally a talker or a handy person? Participant: Talker. Patrick: You would tend to show up as someone who would use their voice to express themselves. So, go over and look at the talking side, and then fill out and put your name where it really applies. Do you tend to – and just see where you end up. And then, whatever number it is on that side, read the section on the other side and see if it applies.
And I’ve seen that. I taught this as a Communications course at an In-Service. Actually, a high school and a middle school to the teachers. 117 teachers in the room. How many teachers, real, that’s their calling gift, do you think there were in the room? Participant: Ten. Patrick: That’s about right. We had about eight or nine. There weren’t as many as you would expect because all of us can share our concepts, but if we learn to share them through our giftedness, there’s a much greater power in what you’re presenting.
So, the teachers – the one thing that they tend to do is they have a way of translating well. They can take the image that’s in their mind, convert it into a way that you can understand it from your vocabulary – not theirs – and then, you get it and you can move ahead.
The other thing about them, though, is they tend to be a little bit more of – they tend to have a larger library than someone or they tend to be a veracious learner whether it’s audio, or video, or books or whatever, they tend to be somebody who loves to learn and then they try to share what’s there.
So, it’s a good thing, but it can be a distraction because if you’re a high talker and you’re going to meet with somebody who’s a Mercy, well the Mercy wants to get to the feeling of things. They don’t want to know it all.
How many people in the room are Servers? Raise your hands high. Okay. Everybody, the next party you have, invite these guys. They will do your dishes. You think I’m kidding. These guys are going, “How do you know that?”
Here’s the thing. The Servers are the ones who do the invisible. They do, in action, what the Mercy does in the spirit, so to speak, with their heart. They feel what needs to be done and they go do it. They don’t necessarily have to have a request. They don’t necessarily have to have anything other than the socks are there on the floor, so they go pick them up. The dishes need to be done, so they go help. They just naturally have a flow in that area.
But, they also have a problem with they don’t like saying no. Why? Because no is a rejection and they don’t want to reject anyone . They want to hug them all. They don’t want to offend anybody, and so they’ll tend to do more – they lack boundaries. A great book for all you Servers out there.; you just go get Cloud and Townsend’s book on Boundaries. Write that down – Boundaries.
And the reason is pretty obvious. You need to learn how to say, “No.” But then, even beyond that, you need to learn how to say yes the right way. “I can get to that next Tuesday. Will that work for you?”
You didn’t say no, but you did set an expectation that wouldn’t bury you because you tend to be the person who overextends themselves all the time and burns out. How do you create a relationship and a selling position to a Server? How do you think you do? Patrick: Catch them doing what they love to do and get your hands in the same sink. See if you can work beside and with them. See if you can go to their volunteer organization and be a part of them. See if there’s a way to integrate yourself as if you’re just like them. Okay?
So, you’re morphing some of your natural talent, but if you’re trying to reach a Server, you’re going to have to – if you look like them, if you seem like somebody who’s a ‘get ‘er done ‘er’, then how does it feel when you have other people around you that are like you? Is that a good thing? Participant: Yeah. You kind of weave them together. Patrick: Yeah! You feel like you’re part of the same cloth, right? That’s all that it takes, right? And so, that’s all I’m trying to do is get you to realize with each of these giftings, there’s a way of access. And the better you learn how to do that, the more that you’ll sell. Sounds good?
Okay, let’s keep going. After Servers is what, Givers, right? How many Givers we have in the room? Really? Interesting. There are very, very few Givers. In fact, they say that 4% of the church is funded by the Givers. That may sound a little odd, but it’s not that the Giver has the ability to empty their pockets, it’s that they have the ability to attract whatever’s required.
True story – one of the best Givers I’ve ever met – a lady named Cathy. She worked when I was back in what I call “Dilbertville “. You know everybody’s in a cubicle, you know. Somebody will get that. Anyways. Participant: Kind of like Corporate. Patrick: Yeah. Corporate America – back when I in Corporate America. She would walk up to you and go, “Hey, it’s Bob’s birthday. Two bucks.” ( and then she would just stand there with her hand out until you…) Participant: And you’d give her two bucks. Participant: Shell it out, right? Paricipant: All I have is five. “Gimme that.”
[laughter] Patrick: I’m sitting here going, “I don’t like Bob and I had two bucks in her hand.” That was amazing. Then, I saw her do something really neat. Remember I said Givers attract whatever’s required?
She wanted to bring some stuffed teddy bears to one of these tree things at Christmas one year. And so she said, “Well, Friday I’m going to go and take all the bears that I’ve collected. If you have any bears that you want to contribute, let me know and I’ll take them down there on Friday.”
So I asked her the next week, “How did you do?” She said, “Well, I had 318 bears.” All I could think was “That’s amazing.”
Where do you put a Giver? On the finance committee? You put them in your business where you need to attract whatever you want because they have the ability, that once their interest and their focus goes in that area, they can be able to attract those people. They do tend to make very good business owners.
A lot of the people that are in a larger business, some of them are very, very big Givers. One of the ways that they’ve been able to create such goodwill towards themselves and their business, is that they have given all along the way. They’ve given value that people exchange back for dollars.
So, how do you attract a Giver or how do you meet a Giver? Find out what they’re interested in. Find ways to contribute to that, too.
Okay, next we’ve got the Professors, right? How many Professors? Do we have any Professors in the room? Interesting. Now, that’s an interesting observation for you, and here’s why I would say that.
The Professors are people that will give you the truth even when you really don’t want it. It’s like, “How are you looking today?” Don’t ask someone that has that gift, because they have been given Thor’s hammer of truth and they will use it if they’ve not been trained how to wrap that hammering in the gauss of Love.
Yeah, some people, it’s our sister or brother. They will tell you how the cow ate the cabbage and give you the exact truth and you’re sitting there going, “Man, I didn’t even really want to know that.” But, they will see the fly in the ointment even if they have to put it there… They will find the flaw.
How many of you have ever met somebody that is so direct you just went the other way, when they came around, you’re like, “Oh my God. That is going to hurt.” They just have a way of expressing it.
If this doesn’t make since to you it’s because if your primary gift is Professing but your not as hard on others it’s because you’ve been broken to a point where your more conscious of how you speak because the gift of a Professor is that they can see what you need to know. And if they can deliver it in love, they can literally set people free, because it’s the truth in love that breaks chains. It’s not the truth by itself. The truth by itself can hurt you.
Because a lot of us have people, or have had people in our life, that always see our flaw and they’ll tell us about it because they think they’re supposed to. Sometimes, this gift of knowledge is there for you to just think good thoughts and pray for the guy to do something because they don’t always need to know.
But, the object of it, or the giftedness of it, is that you really can help somebody to find where they need to change and grow. The best illustration of professional prophecy or Professor is a friend of mine writes code He literally analyzes big programs codes with a million lines and he has a gift of picking out the flaws in the code. Scan it. Bam. [snap] Subconscious engages, because that gift is beginning to come out in his profession. Perfect.
So it’s very, very easy to use that. Once you understand and know to plug into it. In fact, he was kind of confused at first when he saw that until he realized what he did professionally and what he was so gifted at. And then, it was like, “Oh. That makes sense now. It’s just my gift showing up.”
How many Exhortations are there? Probably a bunch. Now, Exhortations tend to be the cheerleaders. They walk into a room and they change the energy in a room. Have you ever met somebody that you walked up to them and they were just so excited, you kind of put a smile on their face just because? They just walked into a room and things began to change very dramatically.
There are a lot of people in our life that are real heavy Exhortations that end up being the team leaders in some areas and they’ll corral people or they want to be in a crowd, they love the party as in any kind of gathering. They’re big networkers. They love to go from network here to network there because it’s oxygen for them. They’re kind of like a Mercy that’s been through Hell and came out the other side.
[laughter] Patrick: It makes sense to you guys that have been there. When they were kids, they felt all the pain but pushed through it and now, they’re like, “If I can do it, you can do it.” And they really have that kind of mantle that will grab somebody and say, “You can do it.” And there’ll be such an energy transfer that the person literally will stand up and run through a wall, so to speak. They can do anything. All because they believe you.
Why? Because you were able to take the conviction that you have and believe in them and hand it to them – inject them. So, how do you treat an Exhortationist? When you’re approaching them, when you want to sell something to them? What do you do? Participant: Get exited! Patrick: Wind it up a bit. Have some fun. Get a little more energy in your step. Get a little more energy in your conversation. Talk about how you feel. Isn’t it great? Drink three cups of coffee, whatever it takes. You’ve been around these people that are just spark plugs and you either get up or get out.
If you’re not in a good mood, you really ought to head for the other side of the room, right? So, when you’re selling to somebody like that, you’ve got to crank it up, and quick, too, because they’ll be repelled. If you’re talking too much or you’re feeling too much – if you want to feel, that’s fine, but feel with, “I can break through.” Don’t feel with victim written on your face or in your heart.
Start to wind up as you walk in – if you know you’re going to an Exhortation, you’ve met this person before and it’s your turn to go present to them, if you’re a high feeler in any area, if you’re a Server, if you’re a Mercy, you really want to crank up the “I can do this” because if you’re not thinking on that gyration, if you’re not moving at that frequency, they’re not going to get it. You’re not going to synch up with them.
The last one’s Administration. Any Administrators in the room? Great. The Administrators are the people you hand the football to and get out of their way. They can make something happen because that’s the way they’ve been wired. They’re great in organization. Just give them the football and get out of the way. They’re going to make it happen.
Get out of their way is the best thing you can do. Just to make it happen, right? Now what’s really funny is a lot of Administrators get too involved in the stuff that needs to be done rather than delegating the stuff. They’ll think, “Well, you can’t do it as good as I can, so I better do this.” Patrick: A lot of Administrators get the differences. Here’s the thing that’s kind of funny. If you’re a boss, and you knew that somebody was of a certain orientation in this giftedness, you think that would be useful information?
Let me show you how natural this stuff shows up. Can I borrow you guys for a second? Can we play a little bit? I’m going to ask for the volunteers and since there are so few of each of you, I’m going to have to select. A Mercy, I need to borrow you. Can I get you up here? And our next one was? Participant: Teaching. Patrick: Teacher. S Teacher, I need you up here. And then we’ve got the Servers – either one of you two. So, and then can we have a – we got a Giver in the house, so we’ll borrow our Giver. Get you up here. Patrick: What you find is that this is really identifying a primary as a strength. Like I say, you can have several of the others manifest in your life all the time. So, what I’m going to do is have you guys line up like this. Come over here so you’re in front of everybody. I want the Mercy first: Mercy, down here. Teacher, Server, Giver. Next, we’ve got a… Participant: Professor. Patrick: Professor. Patrick: I think you’d be surprised at your response. Patrick: Okay. So, we’ve got our Professor. We need an Exhortation. Very good. That makes total sense. Then, we may have your Administrator. Right there. Now, here’s how this shows up. You guys will love this.
Let’s say that we all went to dinner tonight and we went to a pretty nice restaurant. What’s a good example? I’m thinking Macaroni Grill. Would that be okay? Participant: Yeah. Participant: Del Frisco’s next door. Patrick: Del Frisco’s! Yeah. Okay, so we go to dinner. I bring one of my kids. I bring my daughter and she drinks three Dr. Peppers while I’m not looking. Now, how many of ya’ll know that a sugar injection can get a kid …
Just a little bit more animated, right? And sure enough, she spills her Dr. Pepper. At Del Frisco’s they probably have white cloth on there, right? So then, you’ve got Dr. Pepper going [fizz] across the table, right? Now, listen to the responses. What’s the Mercy going to say to my daughter? Participant: Let me help you. Patrick: Okay, she’s going to think about the feeling, right? It’s okay, right? What’s the Teacher going to say? Patrick: If you were to set the glass, gone to try to show her where to put the glass. Participant: That wouldn’t have happened. You would’ve said, “If you set the glass here, that wouldn’t have happened.” Patrick: Right. That would be a normal teacher response. Even if you were trying to hold it back because you don’t want to offend, inside you’re going, ‘If you had just ..’ What’s the Server about to do? Participant: Help her clean it. Patrick: Help her clean it. What’s the Giver want to do? Participant: Waiter can I get her another… Patrick: Right. Waiter, another. Of course, what’s the Professor want to say about it? Participant: If you’d just take your napkin, you’d clean it up. Patrick: See? She’s the directing. A lot of Professors will sit there and look at the parent and go, “How stupid can you be and still breathe?” Patrick: You could have known. If you had just done, that wouldn’t occur. That’s that speaking the truth, isn’t it? What’s the Exhortation want to say? Participant: I probably want to say something like, “You know, next time it’d probably go better in your mouth.” Patrick: Yeah, yeah. I’d even see – it’s funny. Some Mercies and Exhortations, they’d go so far as to spill their own drink. “See? Anybody can do that.” They’re all about the feeling of the job, right?
Now, if the Administrator didn’t want to handle all this on her own, with all of these gifts in front of you, what are you going to do? Patrick: Server, Teacher, Giver – you Mercies are going to give her a hug. Exhortation, right? But, you’ve got all the gifts and they just naturally come out of you.
A lot of times, we don’t think in terms of, “Wow. I could really dive into that area.” But, what would happen if you used your Mercy to help you sell more? Because now, you can walk up to the Teacher, reach inside her chest, rip her heart out and go, “Gotcha!” You can mold yourself to what he needs to hear, or she needs to hear, right now.
And each of you, when you learn how this goes, you operate in your giftedness – truth and love – find a way to give, but you find a way to give to the Mercy. How would you give to the Mercy? You would give emotion, wouldn’t you?
How would you give to the Teacher? You’d give information. How would you give to the Exhortation? You would charge up. How would the Administrator manage each of these people? They would blend like a chameleon to each person because they know that – now they’re a ‘get ‘er done ‘er,’ right? So, they get around a Mercy and on a three hour trip to Austin, I guarantee it, the Mercy’s going to come out bleeding and the Administrator’s going to be exhausted. Participant: I’ve taken that trip. Patrick: Yeah. Unless, the Mercy learns to duck and the Administrator learns to act in love, and begins to think in terms of, “With this Mercy if I’m not careful, I will bruise them.”
Now, that’s exhaustion for an Administrator. However, they in a sense, get their GOI card – Get Over It – and just do it because the drop in effectiveness if you don’t, you break somebody that can really help you. Make sense? Thank you.
[applause] Participant: Pat, does this work also in personal relationships? Patrick: Yeah, all the time. If you acted in a way that you would use your gift to speak the truth in love, is that going to build somebody up or break them? It’s going to build them up, right?
So, when you’re working with people, if you learn how to use this, you now have some tools to unlock prospects that you could never get in before because you would walk in acting like you and they’re running because they don’t know how to respond to that.
If you’re a high Admin and you’re chasing down a Mercy, you’re like, “Hey, come on!” And you just crushed them because you acted in the, “I want to get it done, and you’re in my way and you’re a flower on my freight train. Thank you very much, you’re gone.”
So, those are the things that I really wanted to show you. And now, the thing I want to really wrap with is just how can you guys begin to really implement this? What are a couple of things you could do to begin to use this tool? Participant: I think the number one thing is when you’re talking to someone, you have to be able to listen. Ask them open ended questions and just listen to how they respond to different questions. Patrick: That’s right. If you had this in front of you and started thinking in terms of are they talkative or are they a ‘get ‘er done ‘er? Just keep that in the back of your mind. If they’re talkative, okay. Are they emotional or are they intellectual?
If they’re emotional, they’re going to be in the Mercy and Exhortation realm. If they’re intellectual, they’re going to be in the Teacher, Prophecy, Admin realm.
Are they really bored and you’ve been there four minutes? They’re asking the price and you just told them your name. That Admin back there, he’s going, “I’ve done that.” Patrick: “Would you please hurry?” They’re usually frustrated minutes. Come on. So, use this stuff in your selling and I guarantee it will change your life.
Now the other thing is if you begin to really operate from your giftedness, how could it change things? Can I share a true life story? I took this test ten years ago. When I took the test, it said that I was a Teacher and I went, “Nah! I ain’t smart enough to be a Teacher.”
But, I’m going to tell you when I went to A&M the first thing they told me is, “Mr. Dougher, do you realize that 99% of all the rest of the Freshmen enrolled are placed above you? Our statistics show that people of your academic stature won’t last six weeks at this University. Are you sure you wouldn’t rather go to a Junior College, and make sure College is your cup of tea?”
And I thought, “Wow! I’ve never been called an idiot so proficiently in all my life.” I’ll send you an invitation to my graduation because I’ll never quit.”
I almost proved that guy right. Third year, going into my Junior year, I’m on a first name basis with my Dean due to academic achievement. My Dean walked up to me and goes, “Pat, hey. If you don’t pull it out this time, you’re going home.” Wrong list to be on. 1.99 finishing my Sophomore year.
What was I doing the first two years? Did I goof off… really? No. I worked my tail off, but I was trying not to fail. I went into my Junior year aiming for straight A’s. I lightened my load just a hair and I aimed for straight A’s and I got on the right Dean’s list that one semester. I never had to worry about my grades again.
But, it was because, for one, my focus was in the right place. When I got out of college, I never wanted to be called an idiot again and I literally began to eat everything that had to do with personal improvement. Accelerated learning was my hobby. I went through usually two or three speed reading courses, books or whatever a year. I read hundreds of books; thousands of hours doing research just on and on.
Everything that had to do with any of the greats on selling and all that, I’m sure you all know all of them, whether it’s Zig, or Tony Robins, How to Master the Art of Selling by Tom Hopkins. It didn’t matter. I ate it. I also loved to do things like – I listened to the Bible a lot and I love church history.
And so, I thought if this gift of teaching is in there, let me see. Let me see. You see, the test score that they were looking at was my S.A.T. which I fell asleep in – really. I got what was the minimum requirement to get into A&M. I thought, “Why take it again? I guess it’s enough to get you in,” right? It was just enough to get you in at the time.
But anyways, I just didn’t take tests well back then. I learned that I can learn anything. I learned that I could remember anything. So, I started to offer that gift of teaching. I went to an adult Bible study, and said “Hey, if you ever need a teacher on Sunday morning, I have more than enough ammunition.”
Of course, normal churchianity, the response was, “How about Sunday?” Oh! Um….okay. Terrified. I stepped into it and I began to use it. I started with 10 and soon had over 100 people in the class and then I started being asked to speak all over the metroplex.
Within six months, I was a Director of that three day weekend (The Road Adventure… www.TheRoadAdventure.com ) and for ten years, I was responsible for 13 three day weekends a year. I was on the Board of Directors there. Then in 2005, I sent a DVD of some of my work over to a relatively unknown sales guy named Zig Ziglar. Their response was an email with a contract in it and said, “Would you present Zig’s work?” Zig Ziglar with my bio – I said “Absolutely!”
I worked with Zig for about a year. It was awesome. I worked with Dan Kennedy for a couple of years. That was great marketing information.
But, everything in my life began to really ignite once I stepped into and accepted the gift of teaching my life changed forever. I’ve seen it work for thousands. So, I just encourage you, begin to see how many ways you can insert your gift in your life.
My primary was Teacher. My secondary was Exhortation. So, I could teach with energy in a way that would reach into your mind, down into your chest, grab your heart and connect the two and change your life, because if all I did was give you information, that would collect dust and that’s useless.
But, if I could touch your heart and show you that you could use this, and this and connect, then you’re going to create an energy burst in your life that will change your life. You’ll begin to walk in purpose, passion and destiny in every area. And so, I just encourage you to look through the list, and see what are the areas that you can really highlight and then find ways to insert yourself. And watch what happens. Fair enough? Participant: I really enjoyed your presentation. I just wanted to put in a plug for something you mentioned – the three day weekend On the Road Adventure is something that changed my life forever. Patrick: Yeah, unload some baggage. Well, it’s always funny. Some people, they kind of carry everything with them and I go, “Why don’t you learn how to drop it and watch what happens to your income?” Because it tends to explode.
When you get rid of the crud, and the negative tapes and you stop believing a lie that some jerk told you when you were eleven, maybe that turkey was you. And you start to believe the truth; that you’re amazing, that you’re a creator and that God really wants you to co-create something fantastic in your life. Wow.
I was the Senior Director of three and four for ten year. I left in May finally. I had to make room for Rob, and Kip, and Monica and Jennifer to really grow. But, I’m really thrilled about this and I just encourage you. Find a way to integrate it in your professional life. I guarantee it’ll help you make more sales. It’ll help you find more fulfillment and I think it will help you live in purpose and walk in destiny all the time.
Doer Marketing Systems
Here is the forms I was referencing through this talk: